: The Blawgraphy
Life of a Law Student, University of Houston Law Center

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Gordon, How Not to Succeed in Law School (Funniest Law Review Article Ever)

By: Luke Gilman | Other Posts by
Go to Comments | 4 Comments

Via Shannon Quatros at the Brown Boy Blog and Nancy Rapoport whose list of favorites has proven to be a very fertile ground of procrastinatory materials.

James Gordon III, How not to Succeed in Law School (.pdf)

This settles it – Twain was right, there is no humor in heaven. I’ll be unpacking some of the highlights in the days to come.

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Category: advice to law students, law school, lawyer jokes


4 Responses

  1. Thanks, Luke–and congrats on finishing your first year!

  2. [...] As I mentioned earlier, I recently came across James D. Gordon’s highly entertaining How not to Succeed in Law School (.pdf) (thanks to Nancy Rapoport for the link) and thought it worth unpacking in case a few of you had a phobia of pdf files. It is true that some lawyers are dishonest, arrogant, greedy, venal, amoral, ruthless buckets of toxic slime. On the other hand, it is unfair to judge the entire profession by a few hundred thousand apples. In fact, there are many perfectly legitimate reasons for going to law school. For example, ask yourself the following questions: Do I want to go to medical school but can’t stand the sight of blood? Are my inlaws pestering me to death to do something meaningful (i.e. lucrative) with my life? Have I considered circulating petitions to ban inlaws, but realized that it would only spawn stupid bumper stickers saying, “WHEN INLAWS ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE INLAWS”? Did I major in English and have absolutely nowhere else to turn? [...]

  3. [...] As mentioned earlier, more from James D. Gordon’s so true it’s not quite funny anymore How not to Succeed in Law School (.pdf) Remember those horror movies in which somebody wearing a hockey mask terrorizes people at a summer camp and slowly and carefully slashes them all into bloody little pieces? That’s what the first year of law school is like. Except it’s worse, because the professors don’t wear hockey masks, and you have to look directly at their faces. After the professor completely dismantles a student for sheer sport and humiliates several dozen others, he then points out forty-seven different things in the two-paragraph case that you failed so see and still don’t understand. You leave class hoping that maybe there is still a job opening at your brother-in-law’s toothpick recycling factory. You are beginning to learn why law school has been compared to a beseiged city: everybody outside wants in, and everybody inside wants out. Bookmark this Page:These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. [...]

  4. [...] As I’ve been mercilessly flogging to death, more from James D. Gordon’s now jaded How not to Succeed in Law School (.pdf) The second- and third-years are about the same as the first year, except that you are a cool second or third year student, and you get to choose your teachers (this is called forum shopping) based on the difficulty of their grading curve. The professors believe that you choose their class based on their teaching ability and the centrality of their course to your future career, so it’s wisest not to reveal this little secret. The professors describe their courses in a list called, appropriately enough, “Course Descriptions.” They try to make the courses sound like interesting and important educational opportunities that no person who calls herself a lawyer would dare overlook. They do this because if no one attends their classes, the dean might fire them. Or worse, make them teach Property. Bookmark this Page:These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. [...]

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