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Life of a Law Student, University of Houston Law Center

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The Three Kick Rule

I don’t know why this one amuses me so much – girlfriend was unimpressed when I told it to her the other day – but for some reason this is one of my favorite lawyer jokes.

A big-city Yankee lawyer went duck hunting in East Texas. He shot a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up in his truck and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”

The old farmer replied, “This is my property, you’re not coming over here.”

Indignant, the lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. If you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”

The old farmer smiled and said, “I guess you don’t know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Three-Kick-Rule.”

The lawyer asked, What’s the Three-Kick-Rule?.”

The farmer replied, “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”

The attorney thought about the proposed contest, looked at the farmer, and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the truck and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man’s nose off his face. The barrister was flat on this belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney sent him into convulsions and nearly caused him to give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “OK, you old coot! now it’s my turn.” The old farmer smiled and said, “Naw, I give up, you can have the duck.

Friends on CrackBerry? Miss Manners’ advice

This law school grad’s plea found its way to Fortune Magazine’s Ask Annie column:

I am a recent law-school graduate and, though I’m not yet working at a law firm, I have friends who are. I understand that things in international firms happen 24/7, 365 days a year, and I want to be as supportive of my friends’ careers as I expect them to be of mine. My question is, to what degree in social settings, on a regular basis, should friends be checking their BlackBerries, and at what point should I say something? What’s rude and what’s truly necessary? -Bored in BlackBerryLand

Glancing at my “WWMCD?” bracelet, I quickly think to myself what would Mary Crane do? – Which is the appropriate fork to stab their dominant QWERTYing thumb? Is it a breach of decorum to drown it in someone else’s margarita if I’ve already drained mine? Shall I send them passive aggressive e-mails on my own crackberry since they’ve so clearly indicated it’s the only way to get their attention?

Annie punted to Miss Manners who noted quite diplomatically that

“Of course it’s very rude to be doing business during a social outing,” Martin says. “But you should have nothing but sympathy for people who have no time off. It’s very sad to have no time off.”

“And of course you can’t socialize with people who have no time off,” she adds. “It’s as if you were hanging around their desk talking to them while they were trying to get their work done. So leave them alone until they have worked their way up in their careers to the point where they have some time they can call their own.”

I should note that I am far more likely to be the blackberry-crazed offender in that situation and am duly chastened.

The Real Reason for Removing the Ten Commandments from Courthouses

From my grandmother:

You cannot post “Thou Shalt Not Steal,” “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery”, and “Thou Shall Not Lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

With family like that who needs Frank Lasee? ;-)

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