A very, very, very, VERY odd burglary

See the included image for a tale of the strangest burglary I’ve ever heard of. The copy, from Akron Beacon Journal, the is a paean of understatement that gives me hope yet for the state of modern journalism. What I wouldn’t give to defend or prosecute this case.
Perhaps the more interesting question is - If this were a movie, who would direct it? Coen Brothers for my money. Though I could also see David Lynch.
Via pax-europa by way of popurls.
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Sadly, this is similar to several stories I covered as a journalist several years back. Not to state the obvious or anything, but people are just weird.