lukegilman.com : The Blawgraphy
Life of a Law Student, University of Houston Law Center

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Please note: I'm no longer updating this particular blog, but keep it around for archival purposes. Visit me at the current blog at www.lukegilman.com

Curious Effect of Filing Motion Five Minutes Late on Opposing Counsel and Judge

The following is from this honest to goodness actual order from Western District of Wisconsin in Hyperphase Technologies v. Microsoft.

True, this court did enter an order on June 20, 2003 ordering the parties not to flyspeck each other, but how could such an order apply to a motion filed almost five minutes late? Microsoft’s temerity was nothing short of a frontal assault on the precept of punctuality so cherished by and vital to this court.

Wounded though this court may be by Microsoft’s four minute and twenty-seven second dereliction of duty, it will transcend the affront and forgive the tardiness. Indeed, to demonstrate the even-handedness of its magnanimity, the court will allow Hyperphrase on some future occasion in this case to e-file a motion four minutes and thirty seconds late, with supporting documents to follow up to seventy-two minutes later.

Hat tip to Conglomerate via my law license

ESPN360 Brings College Football to the Huddled Masses

WHEREAS the Law Review office is located in a dark and inhospitable cave deep in the bowels of the Law Center where neither natural light nor cellphone coverage can penetrate, WHEREAS it is now the heart of college football season, WHEREAS it is now apparently bizarro world in football season where teams like Ole Miss beat teams like Florida, let it be known that the University of Houston’s Internet Service Provider inexplicably grants free access to live video of aforesaid games on ESPN360.

BE IT RESOLVED that ESPN360 be duly recognized for its contributions to the sanity and mental health of law students and their ability to interact normally with non-law students in social settings.

Visit ESPN360

Video: Why Courts are Not So Keen to Proceed Pro Se, Exhibit A

via the Rising Jurist. Michael Gaines apparently made the most of his opportunity to speak before being sentenced for spitting on two detention deputies. His assault was treated more seriously as Gaines is HIV positive. He was sentenced to 13 years.

Question and Answer with Lt. Col. Bircher, Army’s Electronic Warfare Futurist

Once I got over the fact that the United States Army not only has an Electronic Warfare division, but a “Proponent’s Futures Branch” within that division, it occurred to me that Lt. Col. John Bircher has perhaps one of the coolest jobs in the world. He responds to the denizens of slashdot in this post Lt. Col. John Bircher Answers Your Questions -

At its foundation, this is what military operations are about: effects generation and management. Traditionally, we tend to think about effects having impact in the physical domain only, but military operations have always been about cognitive effects, too. In cyberspace, most effects are cognitive: they inform, affect and influence our beliefs, values, dogmas and, ultimately, decisions. One of the best aspects of my current job is that I am afforded the luxury of “engaging” (there’s that word again) in discussions, debates, and decision processes that actually cause me to think beyond traditional military functions, and I get to “engage” in these forums with some pretty smart, outside-of-the-box thinkers who are not in uniform (and some who are!).

There has long been a debate about the appropriateness of the military participating in influence operations but if we think about it, influence operations are fundamental to everything we as a society do. Rather than shy away from the debate, we are actively embracing it as we strive to articulate an appropriate role for the Army in cyberspace. The American Public, too, has its role – that of defining the checks and balances that proscribe the acceptable limits of these operations.

Lt. Col. Bircher’s sense of the Constitutional dimension of his job is a bit surprising if one has heard the last eight years of political speeches or read certain recent Supreme Court decisions.

As members of the military, we are sworn to uphold the Constitution against all enemies foreign and domestic. The challenge in cyberspace is being able to discern with clarity one’s enemy. Social engineering takes advantage of this anonymity. There are significant legal implications with which we are constantly checking. The rules of war have always been their own; yet we have always held American forces to a higher standard, and the same will hold true in cyberspace.

Duke’s Lawyers – To my first point, your honor… we suck

According to ESPN, when the Duke Blue Devil football team pulled out of the final three games of a four game contract, Louisville sued for breach and asked for $450,000 in damages. Duke’s lawyers successfully employed the seldom used “comparative sucking” defense – the Blue Devils’ performance on the football field was so disastrous (6-45) that Louisville was not harmed by having to find a replacement.

Judge Phillip J. Shepherd of the Franklin County (Ky.) Circuit Court agreed – “At oral argument, Duke [with a candor perhaps more attributable to good legal strategy than to institutional modesty] persuasively asserted that this is a threshold that could not be any lower.”

Louisville would have perhaps done better to argue that in an era where big time coaches now worry that they might get Appalachian State-d out of some serious bowl money, a team so reliably pathetic is a rare and valuable commodity and Louisville should get the benefit of its bargain.

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